How To Answer Why Did This Happen To Me? with Aaron Keith Hawkins

Aaron was a Police Chief, Husband and Father when he experienced a close call with death. After realizing he could have suffered a heart attack, mini-stroke or aneurism he experienced a change in his life. He shares his journey through more than a decade of personal growth and a shift from surviving to now living an intentional life that is thriving.

Throughout his career, he was often asked, “Why did this happen to me”?  He shares his experience answering this for himself as well as how he helped others navigate through this process to understanding. Listen: Here

 

 

 

A Trip To The Hospital

Aaron’s life direction was changed in one night when he woke up in pain. He had realized in about 10 seconds that he couldn’t walk it off and had a light bulb moment in the realization that his family may possibly find him on the floor in the morning.

He asked his wife to call 911 just before collapsing to the floor. At the moment he was checking out, he experienced a wave of regret as if someone slapped him across the head and told him to look at all the missed opportunities he had experienced. Aaron made a promise to God that if he let him live, he would change.

After a short stay in the hospital, Aaron was allowed to go home. They sent him for testing for a couple of weeks and he did receive a full recovery in his health. In the end, he was not given a certain diagnosis although they suspected he experienced a mini-stroke.

Transformation

He felt guilty when he came to the realization that he had been coasting through life instead of thriving through it. Aaron found it difficult to shake off the regret he felt. He didn’t know what he needed to do differently and that was the beginning of a decade long journey through personal development. He had felt that something changed and knew he needed to take a step in a different direction. The biggest changes he made were

  • Moving from living life to fit into living life to impact others and for his loved ones
  • Going back to school and finishing his Graduate Degree in leadership
  • Reading Tony Robbins, Unleash the Power Within
  • Began reading books in Personal Development, Human Performance and Motivational Development.

“When I changed the way I started showing up in the world it really changed the way I felt about myself, the level of gratitude that I had for the people around me and my perspective about what I was influencing in my life.”

 The more he learned about the world of Personal Development, Motivational Theory and Human Needs Theory, the more he learned it and applied the changes relationships evolved in

  • Career
  • The relationship with his wife
  • His relationship with his daughter
  • Friends.

Being in Law Enforcement allowed Aaron to use everything he was learning every day. It increased the success he had helping others. His position allowed him to deal with people on what could have been their worst day ever.

Light Bulb Moment

One day Aaron’s Wife asked him what he loved about his job. He realized that he loved teaching. He loved getting someone from point A to point Z. It was a lightbulb moment that he needed to teach others from his learning. He took the following steps

  • Picked up Brendan Burchard’s book
  • Built a website
  • Recorded a Podcast episode
  • Stepped out of his comfort zone, terrified for each first
  • Coached someone
  • Began doing Social Media on his own

Using what he went through, he encourages his clients to share something that scares them and tells them to go do it.

Aaron knew his Law Enforcement career was coming to an end and began to really grow his Social Media, website and podcast. Today he helps people get clients using LinkedIn and now has somewhere around 15k followers.

Hitting The Wall

If you have had something happen in your life that has left you feeling like you hit a wall Aaron shares some advice. Choose why you think it happened. He believes that we get to assign the reason and meaning to what has happened and no one can tell us it is right or wrong. If you have hit a wall

  • Decide what the meaning is
  • Decide why it happened.
  • Don’t let anyone tell you if it is right or wrong
  • Make it a good reason.

The Fear of Public Speaking

Aaron has a physical reaction each time he presents a key-note. Just like riding a roller coaster, there is a fine line between fear and exhilaration. He feels safer working on a Swat team than standing on a stage. He tells us he is never safer than when he is with his team.

Despite his workplace success he still experiences the physical fear when he begins speaking including, a racing heart and sweaty hands.

Favourite Book:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Victor Frankyl

Favourite Podcast:

The Brendon Show by Brendon Burchard

Aaron’s Bio:

“Aaron Keith Hawkins is the inspirational author of Million Dollar Influence, a leadership keynote speaker, podcast host, LinkedIn sales trainer, and influence expert. He thrives on helping others improve their business and personal lives by mastering the skill of authentic influence, personal leadership, and value-based decision making.

Aaron completed his graduate studies at the University of Oklahoma where he majored in Administrative Leadership with a focus on Professional Coaching. He’s also honoured to be a rare alumnus of the invitation-only FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. In addition to being an entrepreneur, Aaron spent over 2 decades as a public servant, serving as a Police Captain in his New Jersey community. He and his wife of 23 years currently live in New Jersey with their 13 year old daughter.”

Links:

Vision with Geoff Hughes

Life is full of twists and turns and ups and downs. For our guest today, there has been no exception. He shares the story of his life; from being raised by a Single-Mother on Welfare to becoming an unfulfilled millionaire to his current life that is filled with a successful business and family.

He tells us how he bought his Porche 911, the car he had always dreamed of. However, having a home and becoming a Millionaire was not fulfilling. Geoff shares his journey through the realization that the vision he had created for his life didn’t include happiness.

Through this journey, he shares how he was able to create a deep and meaningful vision for his life and see it come to fruition.

Topics Discussed:

  • How to create a deep vision for your life
  • Changing your sub-conscience mind
  • Finding success with meaning in your life

In this interview with Jeff you will find out how he created the life of his dreams and some tips on how you can too. You can listen to the whole Podcast interview: Here 

Resources Mentioned:

 

Links:

Finding Meaning with John Graham

Have you ever felt like something was missing deep within you? Many people try to fill that void with money, fame, drugs, and alcohol. John began life as an adventurer. He took on climbing mountains that have never again been climbed, was active in wars, revolutions and many thrill-seeking adventures that brought him near death a dozen times.

In the midst of a war, he had a light bulb moment and realized that all the thrill and adventure had not brought him meaning in life. He shares his story and journey of how he found the life of serving and helping others that he lives today.

Some areas of discussion:

  • Life as an adventurer
  • Taking enormous risks in the battle in Vietnam
  • Solving difficult public problems
  • Life in the Foreign Service
  • Life as a Diplomat
  • The power of story to change people
  • Creating a curriculum for students to provide the best service-learning free on the planet.
  • Realizing the fullness of who you are
  • Overcoming PTSD
  • Life’s moral compass in asking big questions such as: what will build justice, end pain?
  • Men struggling to find their feminine side

-Loving your kids is meaningful

-Playing catch, being a coach to your kid’s team, taking your grandkids for a while

-Being compassionate to someone that hates your guts

  • Finding what you’re meant to do
  • Creating meaning in your life that lasts

Links

Burnout to Thriving Solopreneur with David Ralph

Burnout to Thriving Entrepreneur with David Ralph

David was determined to see his business thrive. When he was given a stern warning from his doctor that he may only have 6 months left if he didn’t slow down, he increased his workload. He tried to accomplish his goal before his health runway ran out. He ended up burning out and in the hospital needing to scale back his 20 hour days.

In today’s interview, he shares his journey and the process he created to live a healthy life and run a successful business. You can listen to the audio interview on the Podcast: Here 

 

David Ralph is the host of the top-ranked online show, Join Up Dots where he  joins up the dots of his guest’s lives, highlighting their failures and successes (with more than a few laughs in between)

He is an ex-corporate trainer, with a wife, five kids, a grandson, a cat, and a snail (that might actually be dead already…who can tell?)

The Beginning

When David started Join Up Dots, he was working 20 hour days and wearing all the hats required to get the jobs done. He tells us that being an entrepreneur requires learning new skills daily to keep up with everything that needs to be done.

 

 

In the beginning, David had not figured out what he was really good at and he did everything. His friends commented that he didn’t look well and his hair began to fall out. That was when the doctor told him that he needed to slow down and that he may have a heart attack or stroke in the next 6 months. David figured, if he had 6 months then he could work even harder and as long as he finished the job before the time was up, he would be ok.

He was living life as if he were Superman but like all mere mortals, burn out hit him again. David is not the type of man to give up and on he pressed. He was determined to figure it out.

Optimized Entrepreneurship for The Solopreneur

David figured out how to optimize his tasks and put systems into place. He has interviewed over 1200+ successful guests on his show and what he took away from all those interviews was that the most successful people are not all that smart. They focus on what they are best at doing, the 10%.

He told us that that thing that you are the best at, the thing that no one can do better than you is the exact thing that you feel guilty for charging for. 

Skills

The path to success for David was not straight and easy yet he demonstrated some skills along the way to achieve victory. Here are a few that really stood out to me.

  • Savouring: Putting a spin on a cold rainy day by enjoying the time in his warm bed.
  • Vision: Having a vision and the ability to work away towards it each day without giving up until the objective has been achieved.
  • Optimism: Being able to see the good in situations and to know when it’s bad that it will get better. Not giving up.
  • Humour: From the intro, he used humor as he does on his own show, it lightens up life!

Parting Guidance

If you want to do something, know that it is there waiting for you. It is in your head for a reason, you never get ideas that pop into your head that you don’t want to do. That thing that pops in your mind is waiting, it is knocking on your door and it is your duty to open it.

Books

Podcast

Links

What is Missing with Doug Holt

Mindset Monday with Doug Holt

What do you do when others think you have it made but deep inside you still feel like something is missing. You long for more than the life you have right now, what do you do?

Doug’s Story

Back in 2007, Doug was one of the youngest business owners on the main street in Santa Barbara, CA. Owning an elite private training gym, a fitness magazine, and doing consulting for several companies. By all accounts he had it made… but he wasn’t fulfilled.

That’s when Doug made a dramatic shift and began to ask the question:

  • If you put down the last few years of your life into a book would it be a book you’d even want to read?
  • Better yet would it be a page turner?

If not, it’s time to make a change and a change is exactly what Doug set out to make… and he did.

Meet Doug Today

He has been traveling with his family for 4 months. His 17-month son is his life and his goal and mission is to be the best possible husband and father he can be.

Doug wakes up in the morning and journals, gets some work done and then spends a lot of time with his son. He runs 6 companies and the journey he shares today is all about how he made his business run around his life and not the other way around.

The Journey

Doug grew up an entrepreneur and it started in Orange County California where he grew a garden in his backyard and sold the produce door to door. He has always been that way and gave a lot to charity. Two cornerstones in his life were Entrepreneurship and Philanthropy.

He was one of the youngest business owners and was running three business at the time. He ran a magazine, was consulting and ran a networking group that consisted of some celebrities and business people.

From the outside, he felt that something was missing and went to his mentor to share this. His mentor told him to, “buck up” and be happy with how lucky he was. It didn’t sit right in his stomach so he went to a coffee shop and started writing.

The turn around point 

Doug asked a powerful question in his journaling, If someone followed him around for the last couple of years of his life and wrote it down, would it be a best seller, a book Doug would be interested in reading, a page turner? The answer shocked him, it was NO!

Doug took an honest appraisal of his life and noticed that he was stressed and that his time away from work was lonely. He decided he wanted to have a family and time to spend with them and when he consulted his mentor he was told that he couldn’t have both.

Observing others, Doug noticed that others in the business world weren’t happy with their family life and he knew he wanted to have both. I asked him how he overcame being given this advice, advice being given by extremely successful people in life and business, neighbors of Ellen and Oprah.

The Quest

He went on a quest that lasted about four years and attended seminars, had coaching and mentoring and took it all in. He started piecing it all together like a puzzle. He gamified it into where he could get wins and figured out how he could make his business work for him. He sold the studio that required him to be there in person and took his businesses online. It required a lot of hard work and utilization of processes and systems to make it successful.

He shared with his mentor and his mentor was very happy that he was able to create the life of his dreams.

The 90-day game plan

Doug created the 90-day game to help gamifie your own life. You an find it at https://www.the90daygame.com

The interview is available to listen to on Anchor: Here 

Parting Words

Links 

4-Day Work Week with Wade Galt

Mindset Monday

Wade hosts the 4-Day Work Week Entrepreneur podcast and is committed to helping 4,444,444 people create their own 4-day work week lifestyle. Wade has a Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing, a Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling Psychology, and
has been a Certified Integrative (Life) Coach with the (Debbie) Ford Institute.

When he’s not working, he enjoys spending time with family and friends, traveling the world, coaching youth sports and playing beach volleyball on Fridays.

He lives happily with his wife, children, and dog in Naples, Florida.

In this episode, he shares his journey to living the life of the 4-day work week as well as the mindset shift that is needed to start working towards this.  It is a process he tells us that should usually take time and starts with the first step. The Podcast interview is available on Anchor: Here 

Links

The Mindset to Perform with Katrina Froese

When I went to the Place Maillardville Community Centre for a community event I was drawn to the Princess table and shortly after her performance began. My son and granddaughter were very excited and it didn’t take long for a huge crowd of people to come over. Many were filming and taking pictures as she performed.

What really captivated me was how she sang as if no one was in the room. Her eyes were on the kids and the performance was spectacular. I reached out and asked Katrina Froese to share her story on the show so we could all learn the strategies she learned to be a successful Professional Princess.

In this podcast interview, we explore the journey she went on before she opened her business. her mindset while she is performing and more. You can find out more information about the work she does or book a party for your own children or class by clicking on the links below.

Links

Estate Planning with Nicole Wipp

Could you imagine if your life was to end today………   Are you prepared?

I put off these decisions and was suddenly faced with the fact I had not planned, and It was really scary. If you do not plan legally, your children could end up living a very different life than you may want This interview will help you take control and plan for your loved ones and your own piece of mind.

Nicole is an attorney in the state of Michigan and is also licensed in Hawaii. She is here today not as an attorney, but to give general advice on this topic. She suggests you seek an attorney for specific information to your situation.

Her law practice is called, The Family and Aging Law Center. They help families manage crisis and prepare for a crisis.

“Estate planning is an act of love,  When you fail to plan, it causes a burden.”

Nicole Wipp

Nicole was a litigator for many years. She practiced mostly in family law, really it is divorce law. She had a very busy practice, but it just was not satisfying for her. She did help people and felt like she was helping people,  but it was not satisfying to her.

It would stress her out and she became a mother. She had a son,  and her husband wanted her to be more involved and work fewer hours.

At first estate planning seemed like it would be very boring, fill in the blank kind of lawyering. She could not have imagined that as she was not that kind of person. Once she understood how it could really help people, and added in the component of elder law, she became a really passionate advocate of it. It was not a natural fit or something she considered doing during law school.

Finding Your  Passion

Nicole did not have a near-death experience, but it almost felt like it was.   She was at a crisis point in her life when she made the decision to walk away from her old life and started this as a new life.

It is really amazing, what opens up to you when you make the choice to dedicate your self to following what is in your heart.

Nicole was a successful attorney before,  but she is expediently more successful today, now that she is doing what she is passionate about. Her business has grown in leaps and bounds in the last two years and she can say it is because she has pursued her passion, she has the energy for it and it is in her heart to do it.

It took an act of courage and faith to say she was going to walk away, but sometimes that is what needs to happen.

Why Should You Plan Ahead

Life is uncertain. Nicole shared my story, about how I neglected to plan for my children and ended up in the hospital. I had posted on facebook that I needed help quick, and estate planning is not quick.

Nicole has clients in their 70 s and 80 s that have put off planning because they are in so much denial. None of us are exempted from dying, and there is no planning day as there is a tax day. It is not pleasant to think about and easy to put off.

After Nicole responded to my post, and I realized how much I had failed to plan, and that there was not much I could do from the hospital, I wrote my wishes down on a piece of paper.

A Huge Thank You to Nicole for helping me in the hospital. I felt so alone and scared, and when she answered my questions and helped me out, I felt much better. If you are ever in that situation, reach out to someone, it is better if you are not all alone.

I shared them with my family but knew that I was relying on them to carry them out, as they would not hold up in court. My wish is that this interview will help you be prepared with all your decisions made legal, long before you need them.

Planning in you 30 s 40 s and 50 s

Most of us are in between two dynamics and may have children and parents.

Nicole tells parents of children,  especially parents of minor children, to add up all the money they spend on their children; on a daily, weekly and monthly basis, which these days can be a lot. You will give them everything and spend all the money that they need, but many do not do what is most important.

The worst thing that can happen to your kids if something happens to you, is that something happened to you, but then if you have not planned, it is the second worse thing.

Nicole asks, and it can be harsh, are you really being a good parent if you have not planned for your children

A lot of parents make assumptions that are not true legally. You can not make assumptions about what will happen.

An example, let’s say you’re married, driving with your family in the vehicle and are in a head-on collision; and both you and your husband die. Who will take your kids, do you know

The law does not work in a way that the person you choose can just come and take your kids. You need to plan for who you want to take your children, or someone you do not want may take them.

Sometimes a family will come to court and be inclined to raise your children; money could be involved or there could be other reasons they are interested in raising your children.

The judge may see that one family member has a great job. Maybe you know that their spouse is an alcoholic and would never allow your child to live there.

It could make sense for the judge to give your children to them to raise, although you may never want your children to be raised in this home.

Another family member may have a great heart, be willing to raise your children the way you wanted and not have the best financial picture on paper, yet could be the best person for raising your child. The judge may not give this person your children.

Nicole would choose her sister; she is college educated and is a single mom living in Las Vegas. She is a very loving person and would raise Nicole’s 3-year-old son as well as she could, the way Nicole would have done it. She may not look the best on paper in the family, so Nicole has to make the correct legal documentation.

If you want to have your decision carried out, you need to have proper legal documentation and write down your reasons for making those decisions.

In Canada, I was told your children would be given to a foster home first, before going to family members if you do not have wishes.

Nicole told me that they try to place children with a family member, if possible. As a temporary measure, Child Protective Services may step in and take your child into protective custody until they can find someone. You don’t want that for even one moment. It is scary and you don’t know what will happen.

How To Plan For Your Children

 You need to to have proper legal documents that name who you want to be the legal guardians of your children. This will be a state or province-specific document. Consult your own area-specific legal expert.

It may be a will or a trust, but should not be on a napkin in the hospital!!

You may want to have, what Nicole may call, standby legal documents or limited powers of attorney over your children.

This allows someone to come to take care of your children in a temporary situation until the legal guardian can come and take over.

Nicole’s standby, legal guardian documents include her neighbor. This allows her neighbor to come and have the authority in the event of the emergency, to take of her son, until her mom or sister can come and get her son.

This is a more advanced planning document but can be very helpful.

Money

I asked Nicole if money should be separate. She tells us it is different in every situation, You can keep legal guardianship separate from possession and control of your children’s money.

You may have a loving and great caring person that can not keep a dime in their pocket. You may want them to raise your children but not manage their money. You can name a separate person to manage the money.

Couples

You should name one person to be in charge of your children’s money. One spouse could die or they could divorce, and you may not want their spouse to be in control of the money.

Inheritance

 In the USA, children will automatically receive their inheritance at the age of 18 if you fail to plan. We can all agree that most 18-year-olds are not equipped to handle this type of money.

Where this comes into play is with beneficiary designations. Children will receive them at 18 and your 18-year-old may go out and blow it.

Nicole tells us that 25 is about the age that children are equipped to handle money. Some people have a hard time with that, however,  social maturity comes along a lot later than it used to. These things should be taken into consideration.

I asked Nicole how to go about leaving 2 million dollars of life insurance to your children.

She tells us you may do it via a testamentary trust and a will, which doesn’t become mature until after your death. In most states in the USA, it would need a probate process and have a court approval to set up the trust. The terms of the trust, similar to a living trust, You would name the trust named as the beneficiary, and then put in the will.

Contacts