How To Answer Why Did This Happen To Me? with Aaron Keith Hawkins

Aaron was a Police Chief, Husband and Father when he experienced a close call with death. After realizing he could have suffered a heart attack, mini-stroke or aneurism he experienced a change in his life. He shares his journey through more than a decade of personal growth and a shift from surviving to now living an intentional life that is thriving.

Throughout his career, he was often asked, “Why did this happen to me”?  He shares his experience answering this for himself as well as how he helped others navigate through this process to understanding. Listen: Here

 

 

 

A Trip To The Hospital

Aaron’s life direction was changed in one night when he woke up in pain. He had realized in about 10 seconds that he couldn’t walk it off and had a light bulb moment in the realization that his family may possibly find him on the floor in the morning.

He asked his wife to call 911 just before collapsing to the floor. At the moment he was checking out, he experienced a wave of regret as if someone slapped him across the head and told him to look at all the missed opportunities he had experienced. Aaron made a promise to God that if he let him live, he would change.

After a short stay in the hospital, Aaron was allowed to go home. They sent him for testing for a couple of weeks and he did receive a full recovery in his health. In the end, he was not given a certain diagnosis although they suspected he experienced a mini-stroke.

Transformation

He felt guilty when he came to the realization that he had been coasting through life instead of thriving through it. Aaron found it difficult to shake off the regret he felt. He didn’t know what he needed to do differently and that was the beginning of a decade long journey through personal development. He had felt that something changed and knew he needed to take a step in a different direction. The biggest changes he made were

  • Moving from living life to fit into living life to impact others and for his loved ones
  • Going back to school and finishing his Graduate Degree in leadership
  • Reading Tony Robbins, Unleash the Power Within
  • Began reading books in Personal Development, Human Performance and Motivational Development.

“When I changed the way I started showing up in the world it really changed the way I felt about myself, the level of gratitude that I had for the people around me and my perspective about what I was influencing in my life.”

 The more he learned about the world of Personal Development, Motivational Theory and Human Needs Theory, the more he learned it and applied the changes relationships evolved in

  • Career
  • The relationship with his wife
  • His relationship with his daughter
  • Friends.

Being in Law Enforcement allowed Aaron to use everything he was learning every day. It increased the success he had helping others. His position allowed him to deal with people on what could have been their worst day ever.

Light Bulb Moment

One day Aaron’s Wife asked him what he loved about his job. He realized that he loved teaching. He loved getting someone from point A to point Z. It was a lightbulb moment that he needed to teach others from his learning. He took the following steps

  • Picked up Brendan Burchard’s book
  • Built a website
  • Recorded a Podcast episode
  • Stepped out of his comfort zone, terrified for each first
  • Coached someone
  • Began doing Social Media on his own

Using what he went through, he encourages his clients to share something that scares them and tells them to go do it.

Aaron knew his Law Enforcement career was coming to an end and began to really grow his Social Media, website and podcast. Today he helps people get clients using LinkedIn and now has somewhere around 15k followers.

Hitting The Wall

If you have had something happen in your life that has left you feeling like you hit a wall Aaron shares some advice. Choose why you think it happened. He believes that we get to assign the reason and meaning to what has happened and no one can tell us it is right or wrong. If you have hit a wall

  • Decide what the meaning is
  • Decide why it happened.
  • Don’t let anyone tell you if it is right or wrong
  • Make it a good reason.

The Fear of Public Speaking

Aaron has a physical reaction each time he presents a key-note. Just like riding a roller coaster, there is a fine line between fear and exhilaration. He feels safer working on a Swat team than standing on a stage. He tells us he is never safer than when he is with his team.

Despite his workplace success he still experiences the physical fear when he begins speaking including, a racing heart and sweaty hands.

Favourite Book:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Victor Frankyl

Favourite Podcast:

The Brendon Show by Brendon Burchard

Aaron’s Bio:

“Aaron Keith Hawkins is the inspirational author of Million Dollar Influence, a leadership keynote speaker, podcast host, LinkedIn sales trainer, and influence expert. He thrives on helping others improve their business and personal lives by mastering the skill of authentic influence, personal leadership, and value-based decision making.

Aaron completed his graduate studies at the University of Oklahoma where he majored in Administrative Leadership with a focus on Professional Coaching. He’s also honoured to be a rare alumnus of the invitation-only FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. In addition to being an entrepreneur, Aaron spent over 2 decades as a public servant, serving as a Police Captain in his New Jersey community. He and his wife of 23 years currently live in New Jersey with their 13 year old daughter.”

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Vision with Geoff Hughes

Life is full of twists and turns and ups and downs. For our guest today, there has been no exception. He shares the story of his life; from being raised by a Single-Mother on Welfare to becoming an unfulfilled millionaire to his current life that is filled with a successful business and family.

He tells us how he bought his Porche 911, the car he had always dreamed of. However, having a home and becoming a Millionaire was not fulfilling. Geoff shares his journey through the realization that the vision he had created for his life didn’t include happiness.

Through this journey, he shares how he was able to create a deep and meaningful vision for his life and see it come to fruition.

Topics Discussed:

  • How to create a deep vision for your life
  • Changing your sub-conscience mind
  • Finding success with meaning in your life

In this interview with Jeff you will find out how he created the life of his dreams and some tips on how you can too. You can listen to the whole Podcast interview: Here 

Resources Mentioned:

 

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Fixed and Growth Mindset with Ana Melikian

Mindset Monday with Ana Melikian

Ana shares her fascinating story of moving from Portugal to Phoenix Arizona in the United States. She had been traveling the world speaking in her academic life as a Psychotherapist and left is behind to be with her husband.

She had recently finished her PhD and to practice in the United States, she would have had to jump back into more time in school so she decided to start her own coaching business. Ana tells us that jumping back into school felt as if she had completed running a marathon and was about to run the second one right away.

She felt that life coaching pulled her skills and academic life together and she went on and became certified through the best coaching programs. She had found that her coaching business was much different from her practice in Psychotherapy. Using a Growth Mindset, she began to look to find a way to make success in coaching.

Ana began to train with Michael Port, the NY Times Best Selling author and creator of Book Yourself Solid®.  She became certified, then became an elite coach.

As Ana shares about mindset, she mentions Carol Dweck and her book. Mindset.

Ana’s steps to changing your thoughts:

  1. Become aware of our fixed mindset, we all have blind spots and a self-awareness muscle. We can become aware of our talk telling us that we cannot do something.
  2. Recognize we have a choice, decide if we will do something about it.
  3. Talkback with our growth mindset. Reframe negative thoughts into we can do it attitude. Add yet, to your thoughts, I am not good at this yet!
  4. Effort, it is not desire alone that does something, we must put in a lot of effort and it is totally possible.

The interview is available on the Podcast: Here 

Contact

Quote:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;

watch your words, they become actions;

watch your actions, they become habits;

 watch your habits, they become character;

watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

-FRANK OUTLAW

Scarcity Mindset With Jiaying Zhao

Today on Mindset Monday I speak with Jiaying Zhao about the Scarcity mindset and how it impacts everyone. She brings her own story about growing up in China living in an area experiencing poverty and tells us that is has led her to dedicate her life to researching and helping some of the most vulnerable and poor people. She shares her lens on this topic as well as some research and statistics from her work.

Meet Jiaying

Jiaying has her Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology and is an Assistant Professor for the Department of Psychology at UBC. She is a Canada Research Chair (t2) in Behavioral Sustainability. She belongs to the Institute for Resources, Environment, and Sustainability. She loves her work of research, supervising students, research projects, teaching, and service.

On the Synergy Mindset Podcast, she takes us back to the beginning of her story and shares about her life growing up in China. She tells us she grew up poor and had intimate experiences in her family and in society at that time. Her family got out of poverty and she was able to pursue an education in Canada.

She was interested in poverty because of her personal experience and when she was in graduate school, one of her Ph.D. advisors was working on poverty. Jiaying jumped on board immediately because it was a personal interest and passion of hers since childhood. They wanted to understand what makes the poor poor and for the last decade have been investigating a psychological cognitive explanation of the behaviors of low-income individuals.

Scarcity Mindset is a condition of not having enough or the feeling of not having enough. This can be money, time, calories, pretty much anything. It is experienced by pretty much everyone in the world.

When someone is feeling scarcity they begin to tunnel their resources. They focus only on the task at hand and can end up making poor decisions due to a lack of seeing the big picture.

Jiaying uses the example of money scarcity and how people borrow money, such as payday loans, with high interest to solve the moment’s problems. They neglect everything else and those other things are equally important. This is a cognitive phenom.

There are other scarcity mindsets. There are social driven ones as well. In society, we tend to view low-income individuals as lazy or not-competent and it is most of the time, unfair and not true. The poor suffer a lot of stigma because of their poverty identity. Therefore, a poor person may be worried about how others view them based on the perception that they know the average person will view them. These are mental burdens on the poor.

It uses cognitive resources and the worry has effects. This constant worry reduces IQ and decreases performance. When Jiaying grew up in China in the 80’s everyone was poor therefore she experienced equality. Here in Canada, we have inequality of super-rich to all ranges which causes even more of a stereotype.

We need to change the public perception of the poor and there are several initiatives on the way. 

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

A vicious cycle, the person perceives the stereotype is true about them, therefore, acts with behavior that is destructive or will be in ways to confirm the belief and ends up becoming the person that the stigma projects. It can be broken by realizing the stereotype or belief is not true. This is how we can begin to dissociate the situation from the individual. The individual can change their belief about themselves and therefore change their behavior.

Policymakers can help make a difference as well. Jiaying has met with leaders to discuss how the government can help by increasing the overall income for low-income people. She suggests that we look at the impact the cash incentives will have on a person and what their individual needs are. If someone is not well or able to make decisions then we should provide services that are helpful. For some, they only need cash, they don’t need all the services and programs. We should use our due diligence to look at the impact that we are having.

Studies show that most people that are given a cash incentive do not use it on gambling or drugs and alcohol, they use it for good.

They are struggling to live in that scarcity context and need as little burden put on their lives as possible. Their cognitive bandwidth needs to be protected and we could look at how could we make it easier for them? One way Jiaying suggests is to offer automatic supplements if they make under a certain amount. She believes the help when they seek it needs to be easier to access, they should not have to request it.

What can people in poverty do to turn their life around?

Jiaying tells me it is the same things that everyone else would do. She doesn’t feel anyone should tell them what to do but if we want to work together we can offer to help them brainstorm. They are incredibly able to take care of themselves and seek out support. It is helpful to remind them of appointments if they would like that help as it is really hard to manage those things without a planner or calendar.

What she believes that all of us can do: Self-care!

Favorite Book

Links

Frustrated, Stressed & In Debt to The Abundance Mindset with Nate Ridgeway

Welcome to the Synergy Mindset Podcast, Mindset Monday Edition.  Nate Ridgeway is here to share about the Scarcity Mindset vs. the Abundance Mindset.  We will find out what the Abundance Mindset is and how can we adopt an Abundance Mindset?

Nate is a Husband, Father, Entrepreneur, John Maxwell Certified Coach, Pastors’ Son, the Leader of Life Tribe and also has an amazing Second Chance Story. On his website, he says that he is grateful for his second chance at living life wisely and well.

He grew up, The Son of a Preacher Man, that was also, The Son of a Preacher Man and he was also The Son of a Preacher Man. Being the 4th generation involved in church ministry and it taught him to love and value people and how to build things.

Whether you are building things or peoples lives it is in Nate’s DNA, in his blood.

Not an Abundance Mindset

Nate shares that he was not always living with an abundance mindset and started off his family in debt by putting the hospital bills on his credit card. They took vacations and paid utilities and at one point got to 50K credit card debt on high-interest cards.

He had the wrong mindset about life, got up to 247 lbs, was totally stressed out, hated life and ended up wondering how he ended up overweight, broke, and frustrated. He has massive desires to make a massive impact in the world and he was not making an impact at that time.

Nate was given the name, Life Architect, by a dear friend of his that had a branding firm and put the story in front of his face. He showed him how far he had come and how he was helping people to re-engineer and redesign their lives. This really played to the DNA of his heart.

A Change in Life

When he realized change needed to take place in his own life it began step by step. He experienced frustration while he was trying on his wedding/funeral suit and it just wasn’t buttoning and he punched the mirror in frustration. It as a wake-up moment of the physical state his body was in. The next was when he went to a financial coach and they uncovered his $600.00 a month Starbucks Habit. He tells us that when you are accountable and you really want to move from scarcity to abundance you are willing to take those kinds of, “spankings” from a coach.

His mindset was a scarcity mindset because he had a lack of abundance in his mindset to be honest with himself and know how to use whatever resources were available to him. He was not in abundance because he had money to spend at Starbucks, he was in scarcity because he was using money that he could have put towards his debt so that he could move towards abundance.

Moving toward abundant living is knowing how to use your resources; time, energy, money, a skill, talent or the gifts that God has given you responsibility. 

The Power of a Coach or Mentor

You have to be willing to submit to a coach if it is going to be effective. There are many coaches and areas of coaching and Nate feels that the coaching fit is special. He recommends taking the time to find a coach where the relationship is the right fit, someone that can help you get what you are looking for. Find someone that has done what you want to do or has been where you want to go.

Listen to the whole interview to find out what those steps are and hear the rest of Nate’s Journey. Find out how he developed a Rockstar Abundance in his life and how it has allowed him to make a massive impact in the world. You can hear the whole story on the Podcast: Listen Here

Nate’s Fav Book:

The PodcastNate’s Listening to:

Links

Life Happens, Live It! With Jake French

In the blink of an eye, Jake’s life changed course and he ended up being paralyzed from the chin down. In just a few short days, he made the decision to choose to adopt the motto Life Happens, Live it! It took some time for him to live that motto to its fullest and he shares his journey with us here.

I want to thank Joel from Relaunch for introducing me to Jake.  What really inspired me to share Jake’s story was listening to the podcast Mere Mortals Unite, with Julie Ann Sullivan.

Jake tells us that people can see his wheelchair so they know exactly what he is dealing with, but other people have some kind of wheelchair that we just can’t see.

He is a University of Idaho graduate and a huge fan of anything outdoors.

Despite the difficulties he has encountered in his life, he is able to make others smile and turn things away from a victim mindset into a being the leader and speaker that he is today.

His Second Chance Story

Jake was on top of the world and, celebrating receiving his degree, to work in his dream job in forestry. He had been drinking and celebrating when he ran into his old childhood best friend. A freak accident took place between when his friend took him down in a headlock, and Jake couldn’t brace his fall landing head first in the pavement. He later found out he became a C6 Quadriplegic that evening. Sharing his story, we will find out how he was able to find happiness in a different way that he had planned the day he had graduated.

The Turn Around Point

When he was in the therapy room he was surrounded by people who were really hurting. He witnessed another patient whom’s way of looking at her situation changed his whole perspective. This is when he began to look around and realize that he was not the worst off in the world. He committed to healing as victoriously as he was able to.

You can listen to the whole interview to hear all the details of Jake’s experience.

A Closer Look

 What about you changed the most from this experience?

Jake was no longer able to do many of the things he once could. He tells us how his Mom was amazing and taught him to never give up. With his perseverance and courage, he learned how to do many things again including driving.

What is one piece of guidance you would like to share with us?

He tells us a hilarious story about how someone brought him a hot pink wheelchair and his friends had a good laugh and called it ManGenta. He asks what has happened in your life that you can turn into you own ManGenta situation and how can you find the funny in the situation?

What is one resource you couldn’t have made it without?

Never Give Up! Success in Life Is an Attitude Paperback – 2005.                                                                                             by Ron Heagy (Author),‎ Donita Dyer (Author) https://www.amazon.com/Never-Give-Success-Life-Attitude/dp/0975417207

Links

The Mindset to Perform with Katrina Froese

When I went to the Place Maillardville Community Centre for a community event I was drawn to the Princess table and shortly after her performance began. My son and granddaughter were very excited and it didn’t take long for a huge crowd of people to come over. Many were filming and taking pictures as she performed.

What really captivated me was how she sang as if no one was in the room. Her eyes were on the kids and the performance was spectacular. I reached out and asked Katrina Froese to share her story on the show so we could all learn the strategies she learned to be a successful Professional Princess.

In this podcast interview, we explore the journey she went on before she opened her business. her mindset while she is performing and more. You can find out more information about the work she does or book a party for your own children or class by clicking on the links below.

Links

Cerebral Palsy Warrior with Heather Hancock

Heather was born premature and with Cerebral palsy. She was the first handicapped child mainstreamed into Calgary, Alberta’s public school system and subjected to many years of bullying and abuse. At the age of two, her parents were told that she was to be put into an institution because she would never amount to anything. She is on this show sharing her story because they were very wrong.

She had to overcome the damage that was done and when Heather was only 14 years old she was suicidal and had made a plan.

She tells us God had a plan that was greater for her and that she experienced his love and realized this at an event she attended.

Her dream of becoming a nurse couldn’t be due to the physical pain and limitations that CP caused her and she shares a story that includes multiple mindset shifts coupled with the will to go on despite challenges.

In this inspiring interview, she shares her journey to becoming a Christian Inner Healing Coach. She helps Woman overcome deep, deep wounds by shifting their mindset to come into alignment with God’s mindset.

Favorite Book

Favorite Podcast

Lisa Bevere’s I Am Adamant

Scripture Mentioned James 1:2-4

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,1:2 The Greek word for brothers and sisters (adelphoi) refers here to believers, both men and women, as part of God’s family; also in verses 16 and 19; and in 2:1, 5, 14; 3:10, 12; 4:11; 5:7, 9, 10, 12, 19.whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Psalm 139:13-14

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

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