From Diagnosis to Dreaming Again with Dr. Jennifer “Kaylene” Carter

For years Kaylene experienced many medical symptoms and illnesses. After a long journey, she was diagnosed with Complex PTSD. While in treatment she was able to link the medical challenges she had been faced with to the trauma from the abuse she endured as a child.

Today on the show, From Diagnosis to Dreaming Again with Dr. Jennifer “Kaylene” Carter, we share her courageous journey to heal from Complex PTSD, Fibromyalgia and overcome the hold it had on her life. She began dreaming again, wrote and published her first book and shares her journey with anyone that would like to overcome their own challenges in life.

Kaylene has a passion for poetry and songwriting. She is a singer and songwriter and is working as a Professor and Life Coach for entertainers. She is the author of the book: WHEN THE MIRROR SHATTERS, Breaking the Bondage of Performance Mentality.

Topics we cover in this interview:

  • Different types of abuse in relationships and resources to spot it
  • Strategies to heal from PTSD
  • Physical abuse as a child
  • How to live life on your own as a teenager

Kaylene was abused by her mother from a young age. A neighbour who was like a Grandma to her intervened and for a while, her Mother quit hitting her. Just after she turned 18 her Mother physically assaulted her in a horrific incident that she shares on the podcast interview. You can listen to here.

Before it got better it got worse. Kaylene experienced the loss of family support and the loss of her church family as people picked and chose sides. She tells us that she didn’t know how to spot the signs of abuse and had she been able to, she may have been able to experience healing sooner.

Due to living in captivity and being abused from a young age she experienced a lot of pain and dysfunction in her life. In her teens, she was diagnosed with  Fibromyalgia and in her 20’s PTSD. Some of the symptoms she experienced were:

  • reoccurring nightmares
  • visual flashbacks
  • blood sugar issues from her adrenaline being cranked up too high for so long.
  • back pain
  • headaches

After leaving home she had to support herself and took on jobs as a waitress. Kaylene put herself through school and accomplished her degree. It was a difficult path and opened her up to more abuse. She ended up in relationships that were toxic and didn’t even know until she began to learn about verbal and spiritual abuse.

Finding therapy was a challenge as medical insurance was not available through the jobs she was working. When she was able to find some help, she took the following methods:

Tools to Heal

  • facia release sessions -Trauma can be stored in your facia
  • music therapy
  • writing therapy
  • making self care a priority
  • going to a coffee shop
  • attending a concert
  • making a goal to live the healthiest life possible
  • using a schedule to manage medication
  • remembering to breathe, smile and laugh.
  • a 60 hour outpatient program
  • therapist
  • PTSD workbook

Q. How did you make the connection between your physical body and complex PTSD?

A. “Listen to your body.” She felt it in her body every day throughout her 20’s and 30’s. She used to feel like she was just being lonely at home and then she learned that trauma can be stored in your facia and be released.

Q. Do you celebrate your accomplishments or look for the next win?

A.  She used to look for the next destination but now she knows that more she trusts God and puts her faith in God, knows that God loves her for her and not her accomplishments, she can slow down and enjoy the journey, take time to celebrate.

Q. Tell us more about the book, what is your purpose of writing it?

A. “To give others hope.” She began writing to help others. She tells us it was like a form of therapy for herself and healing. She was able to see all the times that God intervened. Each time she reads her story she feels empowered and this is her hope, that others feel empowered, inspired and have hope for their journey.

Resources:

Nonprofits-

Links:

 

Bio:

Dr. Jennifer “Kaylene” Carter began working in the entertainment industry at the age of thirteen, alongside many up-and-coming stars in Orlando’s pop music scene. As a teenager, she transitioned from acting to singing. Kaylene recorded her first solo album (which she wrote and coproduced) during her senior year of high school. She also worked as a dancer and a runway model, making several appearances on both national and international television. A second solo album followed, which showcased her artistic versatility and style. Her career led her to creative projects in Los Angeles, Nashville, and New York City. Taking her love of lyric to the next level, Kaylene pursued advanced degrees in Creative Writing and Entertainment Business. Driven by her passion for poetry and songwriting, she is now working as a professor and life coach for entertainers.

Finding Meaning with John Graham

Have you ever felt like something was missing deep within you? Many people try to fill that void with money, fame, drugs, and alcohol. John began life as an adventurer. He took on climbing mountains that have never again been climbed, was active in wars, revolutions and many thrill-seeking adventures that brought him near death a dozen times.

In the midst of a war, he had a light bulb moment and realized that all the thrill and adventure had not brought him meaning in life. He shares his story and journey of how he found the life of serving and helping others that he lives today.

Some areas of discussion:

  • Life as an adventurer
  • Taking enormous risks in the battle in Vietnam
  • Solving difficult public problems
  • Life in the Foreign Service
  • Life as a Diplomat
  • The power of story to change people
  • Creating a curriculum for students to provide the best service-learning free on the planet.
  • Realizing the fullness of who you are
  • Overcoming PTSD
  • Life’s moral compass in asking big questions such as: what will build justice, end pain?
  • Men struggling to find their feminine side

-Loving your kids is meaningful

-Playing catch, being a coach to your kid’s team, taking your grandkids for a while

-Being compassionate to someone that hates your guts

  • Finding what you’re meant to do
  • Creating meaning in your life that lasts

Links

Post Traumatic Growth from Failed Relationships with Katrina Goff

Have you felt the pain of losing someone that you love followed by the frustration of thinking about how difficult starting over would be? Post Traumatic Growth can show up from failed relationships. If you are hurting or keep repeating the same cycle of relationship- single- relationship tune in to this podcast interview with Katrina Goff.

Katrina Goff, CAPP, CRT, is a positive psychology practitioner, and a certified resilience trainer, licensed to facilitate the Bounce Back Better(R) system, a Flourishing Center Program.
The interview is available on the Podcast: Here 

Katrina spent the majority of her career working in Health Care and with the Military. She came across the term, Post Traumatic Growth in a Psychology class she was taking and was able to share it with several service members in active duty over the years. It gave them some hope, and she could help them to see a different side of life other than just Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

She is passionate about helping people have happier and healthier relationships and helping people see there is something else outside of just being stuck in the trauma of a situation, that you can find good in situations and you can have maybe a different life than you anticipated but that it can be even better than you dreamed.

Mindset

It’s all about how we choose to look at things and really being aware of the thoughts that come into our minds and what we do with them.

Sometimes we are getting something out of holding into trauma and are not ready to let it go. The longer we entertain a negative or painful thought the quicker it will pop back into our head. We have automatic thoughts and we have the power to take control over it, we do not have to entertain them.

We may not have had control over the initial situation but what we think and feel about it is definitely in our control.

PTSD

We often think of war, a serious illness, death of a loved one, rape or anything traumatic but when we think about a failed relationship that can be one of the most traumatic events that ever happen to us in our life.

We have invested our time, our heart, our mind into believing we are going to have that relationship forever. Perhaps that person is your best friend and you never imagined not having them in your life. Due to some circumstances regardless of fault, it can be debilitating.

We can want to lay in bed and our thoughts can focus on the negative like how our life will never be the same and that we won’t have it back again. These thoughts don’t lead us forward.

Post Traumatic Growth (PTG)

When we can see it and know how it shows up we can build more of it into our lives. One way that it shows up for Katrina is in Spirituality. Knowing she has a Heavenly Father that loves her and being part of something bigger than herself is very important to her. She knew when she was hurting that she was never alone.

She tells us that when our heart feels it is breaking we tend to want to isolate ourselves and we feel we are the only person that ever felt that way but we are not alone, everyone feels this way and have had a heartbreaking experience.

Meaning – I can make an understanding of what happened and expect that something is going to be better in the future because of it.

We are meaning-making creatures and want to figure out what we learned so we can share it with others. PTG comes from asking questions such as, What was my part in that breakup, what did I miss? How can I help other people?  It is hard to do but if we don’t get to the heart of this, we can end up in that repeating cycle of relationship, single and heartbreak or we never believe we can have it.

Purpose – Future focuses, What am I going to do with that info that came from meaning?

What gifts, skills, abilities, and talents have I come across that can help other people?

Katrina’s Journey

Before her Marriage Fitness Training had a name she knew she was going to find PTG from her experience. She had a failed marriage followed by relationships that didn’t end well and she came to a point in her life that she would NOT settle. She said we can all come to a point that we see we are good enough, we will not accept less than what meets our needs.

She offers some words of wisdom, if you are at that point of failed relationships, Stop!!! Don’t jump into a relationship until you can clearly define in your heart and mind, What do you need, what do you desire and how can you clearly articulate that?

She shares, with vulnerability, that this comes from a place of been there done that. The audio is available and you can hear all the details by listening on the player above or you can find us on Apple music and Stitcher Radio, Synergy Mindset Coaching Podcast.

Links

Katrina is the creator of “Marriage Fitness Training: What’s STRONG with your Marriage” and “Building Post Traumatic Growth”, and many more. Katrina’s mission statement, simply put, is to help people discover their goals, develop their strengths, and determine the path to their success. She is passionate about the science of well-being and resilience. Katrina is the co-owner of Goff Impact Consulting with the love of her life and husband Jay Goff also a John Maxwell speaker, trainer, coach. Katrina is passionate about helping people have healthier and happier relationships. She uses a strengths-based approach and teaches others to first answer the question “what’s right with me, what’s right with others?”

Orphans from Gun Violence and Healing with Angela True

Allow me to introduce Angela True. She is a  Mom of twin boys, a Non-Profit Executive Director, a Writing Coach, and world traveler. She has been a teacher, owned businesses and works with orphans helping them through loss and trauma.

Her Second Chance Story

Her darkest day felt like an atomic bomb was dropped in her living room as Angela found out her Father had been murdered. She was watching the evening news and noticed her fathers’ car in the background of the scene. A few hours later a sheriff came to tell them Father was murdered and shot several times, the killer was on the loose.

Her Mom had recently gone through a mental breakdown while suffering from Encephalitis and Meningitis and wasn’t in a place to care for her children. Angela and her brother went into state care and as well as the care of family members.

Angela was 16 and the responsibility of caring for her brother, caring for her Mom and raising herself was thrust upon her shoulders. Her Mom died 6 years later and by the time she was 22 she was parentless and felt like she had lost her way in the world.

Different types of Grief

Angela had the chance to say goodbye to her Mom and knew it was her time to go. When her father was taken from her, she didn’t have that opportunity to say goodbye or have closure and she tells us it is a different kind of grief.

When her Mother passed away, she experienced compound grief and it came at her in waves. She was laying in her college room and was so grief struck she felt like she was going to die. She couldn’t get up and physically couldn’t do it.

She pulled herself out by getting a psychodynamic therapist at her University. She tells us she found out that she had a  chemical depression and her brain was not making enough serotonin. The things that some people try such as a bath with candles was not enough to pull her out.

Angela saw her doctor and was put on medication for six months to a year. She told us that it is incredibly difficult to do it alone when you are in such a deep dark place and without that help, she would not be here today.

Listen to the whole interview to hear what she tells us about the benefits of using therapy and medication to heal.

The Turn Around Point

Let’s explore the steps Angela took along her healing journey.

  • She told herself the story that she was a victim for a very long time. She had tried counseling and other things yet still thought about her opportunity for revenge against the killer of her father.
  • Her defining moment was when she faced Gary, the man who murdered her father and confronted him. She told him he stole her parents’ lives and that she didn’t forgive him. She tells us that she was tired of holding on to the story and she took her power back. She decided that she was no longer going to be that girl who had a murdered parent, and she let go of that identity.
  • A few months later she became pregnant with twins.  She realized that she gained a lot of skills and that she was a survivor. Angela discovered the things that she loved and started to ask, how do I take all these things that happened to me and move forward? There are still moments she feels grief and cries yet she recognizes they are just feelings and can move past them.

What about you changed the most?

She had to be brave enough, to tell the truth from the tip of her toes and that is not easy when you have walked the walk-through trauma. She found radical self-love even though she didn’t have anyone to give that to her growing up.

 “You have to love and parent yourself if you lost your parents young.”

 There can be two truths, it can suck and it can be ok at the same time. She believes we never get over grief.

Exercise

Imagine you are holding two stones, one in each hand. One sucks and the other is great. You can carry both stones and still move forward. You can have 10 rocks as you are walking and still be ok, you can feel two things at the same time and still move forward.

What is one personal habit that contributed to your overcoming this?

  • Writing and reframing things plus therapy
  • She advised psychodynamic therapy and coaching if you experienced trauma. “If we don’t deal with our stuff it deals with us.” In ways that numb our pain such as drinking, addictions or other self-destructive habits.

One Resources That Helped You Out

What is one thing you are most passionate about today?

  • Advocacy
  • Love
  • Beauty

She is a part of Survivors for Power and helps survivors of gun violence.

If you found this interview helpful please let her know by sending her a quick message or sharing this on social media or with someone who you care about. She would love to connect with you if you are working through mother or father loss and you can find her at angelatruewriter.com

Links

Miracle of ​Mindset with Dave Sanderson

Dave Sanderson

When US Airways Flight 1549, or “The Miracle on the Hudson,” ditched into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, Dave Sanderson knew he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

The last passenger off the back of the plane on that fateful day, he was largely responsible for the well-being and safety of others, risking his own life in frigid water to help other passengers off the plane.

Despite the hazards to himself, Sanderson thought only of helping others and emerged from the wreckage with a mission: to encourage others to do the right thing.

That experience profoundly changed his life and today he travels the globe sharing his inspirational and motivational leadership messages to help people make a difference in how they do business and live their lives. #MomentsMatter You can listen to the audio interview on the Podcast: Here 

http://davesandersonspeaks.com/
http://davesandersonspeaks.com/

Dave is an inspirational survivor, speaker, and author. His thoughts on leadership have made him an internationally sought-out speaker.

Put on That Plane

The day of the plane crash Dave called the travel agent and moved his 5:00 flight with a first class seat to flight 1549 so he could get home to see his wife and his four kids earlier. Everybody including Dave was put on that plane for a reason.

There was nothing unusual that day and Dave was one of the first people to get on the plane because of his status with the airway, he was chairman and flew very often. He got on the plane and paid no attention to anything but his reading but shortly after, they hit the birds.

He tells us that the first miracle was that there was only one loud boom and everyone thought that only one engine was lost. He could see the smoke out his window and had thought that the plane would make it back to La Guardia.

 This is your captain brace for impact…………….

No one survives a plane crash…. This is what Dave thought as the plane went down and he watched out the window to see when his last seconds would be.

The hit was hard, Doreen the flight attendant and the people in the back took the biggest hit. He gives her a lot of credit because she kept her wits about her even when someone opened the back door and let the water in. With 30+ years of experience her training kicked in and she made a big difference.

The person that opened the plane did what everyone is told to do, find the nearest exit and what is so fascinating, is that if the captain did what he was told to do,  Dave wouldn’t be telling this story today.

I watched the movie Sully and it had me at the edge of my seat. They did an amazing job of making one feel as if they were there and I was so charged and excited to share Dave’s story for you.

sully-1

“If you do the right thing God will take care of you”.

Dave heard his mom say, “If you do the right thing God will take care of you”. His mom had passed away in 1997 but he heard her say this and that’s why he waited in the back of the plane to make sure everyone else got out. Once he knew everyone was off the plane he got off himself.

When I asked him if he waited for everyone to get out, he responded with humbleness and said not for everyone, just the people in the back. The back was dark and filling up with freezing cold water. As he stepped over floating luggage he couldn’t tell what it was.

He waited, in waist deep  36-degree water, because there was no room for him to get onto the wing. They waited about 6 minutes for help.

https://soundcloud.com/a-second-chance/miracle-of-mindset-on-the-Hudson-with-dave-sanderson

Heros

The first responders were the real hero’s Dave tells us. The ferries were cued up for the days’ work, and New York WaterWays, Arthur E. Imperatore, made the decision to give up their revenue stream that day to help rescue everyone off the plane. This is why help came so quickly and turned a tragedy into a miracle. He tells us first responders, aqua guys, fireman, the crew, the passengers and the pilot’s decision make it a real miracle.

The Baby

My daughter and I were so touched by the baby in the movie. In the movie, they showed the lady pass her baby to a male passenger to brace the baby for impact and it was so scary. I asked Dave if the baby was real and he shared that everyone came together to make sure the baby was safe. He tells us the Mom had a three-year-old as well as a baby and she was standing frozen in place in the middle of the plane wing.

Dave worked for Tony Robbins for about 10 years as head of security, he learned a lot of things about how to get attention so he yelled, “Throw the baby”. He knew she wouldn’t but it would be radical enough to get her attention and it did! Someone asked her to pass the baby to the lifeboat and Mom and children made it in safe. She sent Dave a package with a picture of her baby when she was 3 years old and a thank you.  Dave told us that everyone pulled together to make sure that even if no one survived that that baby was going to survive.

Post-Traumatic Growth Syndrome (PTG)

Why do some people get PTSD and others experience Post-Traumatic Growth? Dave was asked this question and he has been really looking into this. He will be giving a TED talk called Jolt and sharing how you can use your own personal experience to go up. The movie shows quite vividly what PTSD looks like as the Capitan of the plane would see troubling images over and over again.

Dave has had the opportunity to speak to people after traumatic events such as; Hurricane Sandy, Oklahoma tornadoes and folks in the military that go through tragedy all the time. He shares about mindset; how to manage your mind, how to ask yourself the proper questions, and how to go up instead of down after these events.

GOD

Jesus had some rough days, every day wasn’t pixie dust and sunshine, he had some rough days! He went to pray to God and Dave tells us that faith is important to him. Asking for your greater beings help is important and God was all over the plane crash.

There was a lady at the back of the plane saying the Lord’s prayer. If they didn’t all survive it reminded them they were going to a greater place than this.

What Changed?

Dave changed how he prioritized his time. His father was always gone providing for the family and Dave realized he was doing the same. After the plane crash, he realized what his kids really wanted was his time. He now schedules his time around family events.

He left his company and started his own.   Now his time revolves around family events instead of family events fitting in around his company.

In closing, not everyone experiences a plane crash, yet nearly everyone experiences a traumatic event in their life that Dave calls, your own personal plane crash. His time is in high demand and I feel blessed he took the time to share his story on the podcast for all of us. I believe that is because he believes we can all turn our own personal plane crash into a second chance. You can find out more about how by following him on Linkedin, twitter, facebook or by reading his book, Moments Matter. http://globalnews.ca/video/2525507/book-moments-matter buy it here and get a signed copy from Dave himself.

Links

Overcoming Sexual Abuse with Bobbi Parish

Healing from trauma and abuse can feel daunting and overwhelming. As I have been working hard to overcome the abuse in my life, I have come to realize that I am not alone.

Healing alone is difficult, nearly impossible from what I have seen. Finding Bobbi and Athena’s support group, along with an amazing counselor that has loved me unconditionally made all the difference.

So I asked one of the wonderful ladies that runs the secret support group I am a part of, to share her story, along with hope and belief that we all can heal, and we can do it together.

Please welcome, Bobbi Parish

bobbi

Bobbi is a Trauma Recovery Coach. She finds coaching incredibly healing and prefers to coach as to the counseling she used to do.

Her and her business partner, Athena Moberg, founded Trauma University.

Unconditional Love

How do you know how to love yourself when you are raised in an environment full of abuse, obligation, mind control, blame and dishonesty?

Her therapist, Gabrielle taught her and loved Bobbi unconditionally, from her, she learned how to love herself.

She helped her find a hospital, that had a ward that specialized in trauma recovery. Bobbi committed herself for a 10-day stay and that was the pivot point.

They made her part of the treatment team, told her they supported her, believed her and would help her make things better. They formed a plan to help her cope with things once she left and spent 10 days doing some deep recovery work.

Bobbi went on to get her masters, had a period of homelessness, married, had a child, divorced and she still struggled with horrible depression.

Helping Others

Then 3 years ago, imperfect and flawed and full of shame, she showed up and instead of people looking at her as if she was discussing, they embraced her. She stood up and said, “here I am”, she helped other survivors and loved unconditionally. 

We talk about how support groups give love, courage and really help to make us feel accepted and normal.

Bobbi touched on the difference between PTSD from a one-time event or someone who was raised with multiple events that lead to PTSD.

“We learn that the only reality to keep ourselves safe is our abuser’s reality”.  We learn to distrust our own eyes, we fear being shamed, belittled and punished as we did as a child.

Listen here for the whole interview with Bobbi Parish.

Links

Listen to the whole interview: Here 

Healing after War in Iraq with Chaplain Moreno

Questions from the war in Iraq

Mike shares his journey of healing after going to Iraq as a Chaplain. He tells us that honor is very important to Marines, you always do the right thing. These are a few questions that he asked:

  • When someone does something that is against their own moral framework what do they do?
  • Does it affect their marriage and relationship with their kids?
  • What happens if they view themselves as horrible people and end up caring a tremendous amount of guilt around with them?

Facing Guilt

Mike tells us that it is critical to get rid of the guilt. We learn ways to cleanse,  remove and lessen guilt on today’s show. Here are a couple of questions he will address.

  • What happens when we want to help someone through these tough situations and it is hard for us to listen to the events that have taken place?
  • How can we listen and how do the experts cope with these traumatic events?

It starts with finding someone to listen to you after you have listened. In this interview, we hear about how a community can help people through really difficult memories. You can listen to the audio on the Podcast: Here 

Today’s show talks about spirituality, the war in Iraq, and shares some topics that may be difficult for some listeners.

Chaplin Moreno shares his experience with us and guides us through some of these tough questions:

  • I’ve taken a life, how does that chance who and what I am?
  • The sticky wicket, Do you believe that God will protect you?
  • What makes someone feel safe?
  • Can spirituality strengthen personal resilience?
  • How does one know who and what god is?
  • What is my purpose here?
  • I did not die, what is the meaning I am going to attach to that.
  • Someone has had a near-death experience, how can you help?
  • How can we be good at listening to someone that has experienced a loss?
  • How can you share your faith, your view in a constructive way?
  • How can you listen to someone whose stories and memories make me feel sad and sick?
  • What is a moral injury?

Mike walks us through many of these questions and his experience serving in Iraq. You can tune in to the Podcast interview: Here 

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