Healing after War in Iraq with Chaplain Moreno

Questions from the war in Iraq

Mike shares his journey of healing after going to Iraq as a Chaplain. He tells us that honor is very important to Marines, you always do the right thing. These are a few questions that he asked:

  • When someone does something that is against their own moral framework what do they do?
  • Does it affect their marriage and relationship with their kids?
  • What happens if they view themselves as horrible people and end up caring a tremendous amount of guilt around with them?

Facing Guilt

Mike tells us that it is critical to get rid of the guilt. We learn ways to cleanse,  remove and lessen guilt on today’s show. Here are a couple of questions he will address.

  • What happens when we want to help someone through these tough situations and it is hard for us to listen to the events that have taken place?
  • How can we listen and how do the experts cope with these traumatic events?

It starts with finding someone to listen to you after you have listened. In this interview, we hear about how a community can help people through really difficult memories. You can listen to the audio on the Podcast: Here 

Today’s show talks about spirituality, the war in Iraq, and shares some topics that may be difficult for some listeners.

Chaplin Moreno shares his experience with us and guides us through some of these tough questions:

  • I’ve taken a life, how does that chance who and what I am?
  • The sticky wicket, Do you believe that God will protect you?
  • What makes someone feel safe?
  • Can spirituality strengthen personal resilience?
  • How does one know who and what god is?
  • What is my purpose here?
  • I did not die, what is the meaning I am going to attach to that.
  • Someone has had a near-death experience, how can you help?
  • How can we be good at listening to someone that has experienced a loss?
  • How can you share your faith, your view in a constructive way?
  • How can you listen to someone whose stories and memories make me feel sad and sick?
  • What is a moral injury?

Mike walks us through many of these questions and his experience serving in Iraq. You can tune in to the Podcast interview: Here 

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Overcoming Cancer to Running the Boston Marathon

Bruce Van Horn

Have you ever felt as if life has handed you too many problems and felt like you would never be able to break away from the darkness? Perhaps you have lost a child, and understand what it is like to live with heart-wrenching grief, end up with bills that are more than you can deal with, and then have your marriage come to an end. Perhaps you have had cancer and been through the battle, with children depending on you to raise them.

I would like to welcome our guest, Bruce Van Horn from Life Is A Marathon

Bruce tells us that he was referred to as Eeyore because he was a pessimistic down person. He came to a place where he needed to end his life or change his life. He needed to do some radical things and he chose change after healing from Cancer. You can hear the whole audio interview on the Podcast: Here

His brother came to run the Richmond Marathon and Bruce went to watch with his then 7-year-old.  It was boring but over dinner, his older brother told him he should run marathons. He laughed at him!!

At the time, Bruce worked at home, lived in an amazing community and mostly everything he needed was a 5-minute drive away. He never drove 26.2 miles unless going on vacation,  so he couldn’t imagine wanting to run it. He never thought that he would enjoy training for it, and his brother told him something that changed his life,  “The hardest part about running a marathon is making the decision to try it!”

It gnawed at him for a couple of sleepless weeks, and he thought about it. He wasn’t fat but knew he was out of shape and about 20 lbs overweight, so he decided to try to get into shape and joined the YMCA!!!

He set a goal to jog, (not run)  1 mile on a treadmill without walking, and although it was difficult, he made it. (it took him over a month at a couple of days a week.) He didn’t think he could do it and did get frustrated but kept at it!!

The day he did it, something in him snapped.  Less than a week later he ran 2 miles on a treadmill. Then he ran a 5 k in the neighbourhood, then a 10 k and then he heard his brother’s voice again and made the decision to train for a marathon.

Less than a year later, in November of  2006 he ran the Richmond Marathon. (Yeah!!! Insert Cheer)  His brother came back to run with him and he beat his brother, by about 45 minutes !!

Running the marathon changed his life! He was a victim and that guy that talked about all their problems. He had problems and blamed others for them.  He had many problems, finance, relationship, being in a job he didn’t like, an overweight and out of shape problem……but it occurred to him that he didn’t have all these problems….   he only had one problem……..  he had a thinking problem, and attitude problem a negative self-talk problem.

A marathon runner can not run a marathon with any type of self-talk. That is the first thing that needs to change.

He found out that running a marathon is 90% mental and 10% physical. If you get the mind right, the mind will tell the body what to do.

It wasn’t until he changed his thoughts about himself, took 100% responsibility for what happened in his life and changed the thoughts about the stories he told himself, his life was able to change.

People began to ask him questions, he started writing this stuff down, and then someone else asked him to be his life coach, and he ended up becoming a life coach.

We talked a little about running, and I shared my own struggle with thinking and running over 10k, I then asked him to share the story about what he has achieved recently, but first…..

Bruce tells us about the biggest struggle he has had…..and had he faced them prior to his transformation, he would not be here today….he would have committed suicide.

In the last year, he has battled severe cancer and gotten divorced. In February of 2014 Bruce was at the top of his game.  He had just turned 50 and was in the process of writing 3 books, his twitter was crazy with 350,000 followers and his blog was doing great. His coaching career was thriving and life was good.

Then his doctor called him and told him he had advanced prostate cancer. It was stage 4 cancer, and although there were alternative treatment methods, he didn’t really have time for them and had to act now. Bruce shares the story about the whole procedure, which may or may not cause some queasiness and empathy, you can hear the recording of the interview for all the details: Here

A year after his surgery he ran the Boston Marathon!!!

This was a bucket list item for Bruce!! He was able to get a bib for a spot on a charity team thank you to a twitter connection and raised money for charity. It is a goal for him to qualify and run Boston again!!

I asked him for tips for anyone going through cancer surgery in the future. He told us,

#1 Be real with yourself – allow yourself to feel the feelings because what you resist persists

#2 Be aware everything about your reality is ultimately a perception of your reality 

#3 Practice Mindfulness

We really only have right now, all we have is this minute. He had to remind himself not to spend too much time in the past of the future. “The only story you can rewrite is the one that moves us forward.”

He ended up putting his coaching on hold, the books he was writing and having others help out to meet his boys needs. He ended up writing a different book, the will be coming available soon.

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Why Do My Relationships Fail with Paul Colaianni

Have you ever been in a relationship that failed and been left with feelings of hurt, anger, frustration or wondered Why? I know I sure have, and so has Paul Colaianni. We talk about subconscious behaviours that can sabotage our relationships.

Find out how you can improve the quality of your relationships with Personal Development Coach Paul Colaianni.

theoverwhelmedbrainPaulColaianni

I am grateful to share  Paul Colaianni’s experience with you.  His childhood through many challenges at him and when he moved out of the home, he left taking a lot of baggage with him.

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We talk about how learned behaviours, ruin relationships. For example, learning that drunk Dad would get mad if he screwed up, taught him to be a perfectionist.

One learned behaviour he told me about is something I am struggling with today. If somebody yells at you and you close off or shut down because you didn’t want to be hurt as a child and it became how you cope. At the time it worked yet as an adult it does not serve in a healthy relationship.

He figured out how to find the benefits of these learned behaviours.  For example, being super responsible for a job is a good thing as long as you have healthy boundaries.

In Paul’s case, he became a yes man because he didn’t want to create tension. He ended up doing things he didn’t really want to do to please people.

If you are reading along and thinking that his story sounds familiar, you are not alone. Paul helps people who are having similar problems in their marriage. You don’t have to suffer all of your life, the good news is, you can start to take control and take one step towards having an amazing relationship today.

Paul tells us how these behaviours affected his relationships and brought them to an end. I asked him how he was able to see his own faults when many people blame the other person.

He told us that he never did think he was the problem, but he started by asking these questions:

  • If I was the problem in this relationship?
  • If I was the problem with my job?
  • What could it be?

He became open to listening to what other people would say about him and how he would trigger those close to him.

When I asked him if it was easier to see his faults, he told me it was not. He was not conscious of these things before, and now that they are visible it can affect how the whole past looks.

This is where we need to learn that we DID NOT have the skills then that we have now. It is easy to look back and think that we should have and see the hurt and pain that was caused, it is harder to know that you couldn’t have been any different then.

My counsellor told me that I was given permission to grieve the loss of what could have been as I came to these realizations. 

That loss of what could have been if only we had known can be really hard.

Depression

Paul was in a relationship for 13 years and experiencing depression. She told him she couldn’t handle it anymore and that he could let her know when he was through it.

Something snapped and he was able to cry and let it all go. He had to admit his true feelings and emotions that were stored inside himself. Once he admitted he felt hatred, he was able to let it go.

We don’t want to hate anyone, however, He tells us

-Don't Repress It   Express It-

Once you express all that needs to be expressed, it releases the emotional energy behind it and it is not as controlling anymore. He found his depression started to go away very fast. He became more vulnerable realizing it was healing.

We ran out of time, but Paul agreed to come back on the show again. Please let me know if you have any questions for Paul and I will be sure to ask for the next episode. Don’t miss this inspiring interview listen here

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ADHD a Superpower with Maneesh Sethi

He was told as a boy that he had a disorder called ADHD. Today instead of sharing his business expertise, he has joined us to share his story about how he turned ADHD into Super Power. He learned how to build a team, use his creativity and started a successful company. Today he enjoys location independence and the opportunity to serve and help thousands of people wake up in the morning, reduce cravings, quit smoking, and defend against distractions.

Please welcome, the Founder of Pavlock, Maneesh Sethi to the show.

There are people that are good at executing and getting stuff done and people that are creative and have difficulty getting stuff done are often labelled as mentally Ill and morally bad and that they are suffering from a disorder.

He could magically get stuff done when the deadline came up and wasn’t good at doing it consistently. He ended up suffering from massive imposter syndrome because he was able to get the same results as others that studied on a regular and consistent basis. It made him feel like he was a bad person.

He went to Stanford University and worked in a Habit Lab with Professor BJ Fogg  https://www.bjfogg.comand learned how the brain works to change habits.

He learned there is no typical brain or correct way to be. There is no order and saying ADHD is a disorder doesn’t really make sense. American society puts out factory workers. It is a superpower of being able to be creative. The more focused you are the less creative you are. It’s not that ADHD is a disorder of attention; it is a superpower to be creative and think of better solutions.

Maneesh left college, started a blog and began to travel the world. He began to do experiments and tried to make himself more productive for a month.

He hired a professional slapper, a person that would slap him each time he began distracted. In less than 4 days he had written 4 months of content.

It worked so well that he wrote an article about it, without realizing the term, “Professional slapper” meant, “prostitute” in England. He ended up going super viral and became hyper-famous for three days and then it stopped.

He met with his team and brainstormed on how they could go viral again. He decided to make a shocking device out of a dog collar and realized that it may be bigger than a blog post. It ended up being the start of his product Pavlock. He realized that it was making a fundamental impact on the way that people do things.

How it works

It rewards you when you do good habits and gives you an electric shock or beeps when you do bad habits.

It is no longer about relying on willpower. You program in your tasks and goals; you receive a vibration when you are doing a good job and beeps or shocks you when you’re not. It only takes days to make changes to behaviour. Beliefs follow the action, the action is motivated by external rewards much better.

By creating an environment that reinforces and enforces positive habits, the beliefs and your own internal mindset naturally changes all on its own.

They discovered that negative reinforcement alone doesn’t change in the long term. Positive reinforcement makes lasting change.

They created a points system that allows people to earn points to be rewarded for good behaviour. They have a betting pool and every day they fail they lose the money they bet, and they get paid for doing the good habits. An example is getting up early and doing the morning routine.

We talked about how he made the product, the wisdom to ensure that it would be successful and the building of the team to launch it. Tune in to the interview where ever you listen to podcasts.

How has his life changed since his company became successful?

He realized his strengths and built a team to do the things he is not strong at. He gave himself permission to use his strengths, made himself a visionary and leader and allowed for freedom in his life. Instead of viewing his life as someone living with a disorder, he focused on his superpower.

One of the ways he built success was by bringing his vision into an area that didn’t previously exist. By approaching it a different way he was able to experience success. He referenced the book, Zero to One https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18050143-zero-to-one

He had an opportunity to have Kevin O’Leary on Shark Tank invest ½ of a million dollars into Pavlok and he declined the offer for ethical reasons. 6 years later, Kevin is still making fun of him on his Instagram feed.

Maneesh trusted rich people and advisors in the past and came to realize that he is not dumb. He thinks he was an entrepreneur since he was a kid. The mindset that really grew in the last few years helped him to evolve and realize that he is different from he used to be.

How Did He Go From Seeing ADHD as a Superpower?

He changed his habits by hiring someone to slap him in the face, then made a product to help others do the same. He said he got lucky, he is an ENTP and his brother is an ENTJ. That letter is about finishing and starting. Maneesh tells us he is a starter, ENTP is the lowest of personality types. He believes it is because most people with that personality type start things and don’t complete them. They need to find a team and integrate their ideas into something real.

Once they implemented his idea, he was able to ratch it up to the next level or layer. People that have a creative mind, he tells us, find a creative partner or assistant that can help you take your idea to the next level.

Fav Book

Antifragile https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13530973-antifragile

Parting Guidance:

If you would like help shifting your habits you can go to Pavlok.comand schedule a free call to get a habit road map to change your life.

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Business Culture and Mindset with Julie Ann Sullivan

Julie Ann Sullivan speaks about business culture and shares her journey from quitting her first job on the spot without savings or a plan to being the successful entrepreneur she is today. She has interviewed over 40 C-Suite leaders about the award-winning cultures they have created and maintained.

Julie Ann Sullivan is a business culture expert.  She knows how to retain good talent and increase productivity, problem solving and profitability.  She creates a more positive and productive environment in every organization she works with.
Julie Ann Sullivan’s diverse background gives her a unique business perspective.  She earned a BA in Psychology and an MBA in Accounting, earning the designation of CPA and spent decades involved in accounting and business functionality.  Julie Ann is a Professional member of the National Speakers Association, C-Suite Network Advisor and proud member of the SHRM Blog Squad.   She is an international best-selling author.  Her newest book titled, Blueprint for Employee Engagement, 37 Essential Elements to Influence, Innovate and Inspire, is a roadmap for the complex journey to create the best place to work.  Her next book: Catalysts of Culture – How Visionary Leaders Activate the Employee Experience, is coming in 2019.
Julie Ann also is the host the Businesses That Care Podcast, speaking to leaders on how they have created and sustain amazing business cultures. You can hear the podcast interview here: Listen
Favourite Book

The Four Agreements

  1. Be impeccable with your word
  2. Do your best
  3. Don’t take things personally
  4. Read the book to find out!

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Project Woo Woo with Lisa Orkin

Living in LA as an artist is quite an adventure. Lisa shares her ups and downs with us today on the show! We talk about divorce, the grieving process and how to have fun in life.

Favourite Book:

Favourite Podcast:

On Being with Krista Tippett: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2

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Master your Time, Talent and Treasures with Scott Maderer

Episode 75 on The Synergy Mindset Podcast and Community.

Driving a long way down a country road, contemplating sending his car off the road, Scott made a decision in his mind to end his life. He had thought that his wife could pay off the debt with the life insurance payout.

As he was wrestling with his decision, Dave Ramsey came on the radio and he began to hear stories of couples that had become, “debt free”. Each night he drove home, he listened more and more until he had the courage to speak to his wife. The plan never came to fruition.

Have you ever felt that you were at the end of your rope? That all hope was gone and unsure of where to go? Perhaps you are still working a mundane 9-5 job that seems to go nowhere. In this interview with Scott, we hear how his journey unfolded. He and his wife got out of debt, became John Maxwell Certified Coaches, he quit his corporate job and now helps others. He helps people master their time, their talents, and their treasures and if you listen you will learn a little bit about how you can as well.

 

In 2017, Scott and his wife Carrie started Inspired Stewardship as a business to serve Christian men and couples that are struggling to live out their calling.  They work to help align the way you use your time, your talent, and your treasures so that you can identify and live a fully authentic life that allows you to authentically live your calling, serve others, and provide for your family.  As certified Human Behaviour Consultants and members of the John Maxwell Team, they focus on helping you understand yourself, understand others, and through that understanding build the Kingdom. Scott and Carrie through Inspired Stewardship are living out their own calling that started with a call to coaching in 2011 and has slowly grown to a full-time business through one on one coaching, speaking, and workshops.

Favorite Book:

Favorite Podcast:

Free Gift:

Scott has a free gift to help you with your personal growth journey.

Synergy Mindset Podcast

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Listen to the Podcast: Listen Here:

Do Good, Be Awesome with Steve Reiter

Today I have the honor and privilege to speak with the cohost of the Eternal Leadership Podcast. He interviews incredibly inspiring and successful business professionals alongside his good friend John Ramstead.

Steve Reiter is an entrepreneur, Husband, Father, Podcast Host and shares his story of how he faced burnout, left his job, began to work for himself and helped his wife heal from a long term illness. It is an incredible journey of faith, time to listen to God and we get into the tough moments and the difficult decisions he faced long before the fruit came into his life.

Steve worked for Focus on the family for 15 years with Dr. Dobson. He was his Chief Audio Engineer.  It was the first religious broadcast inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame.

His work began taking a toll on his health. There was a tension, and stress present and after about 6 months, he turned in his resignation. He had lost 20lbs in one month and his doctor advised him to take his health seriously.

Steve experienced tangible pain listening to spoken word, his body was saying STOP!

He took 6 months off and began to listen and notice what was coming next into his life. He had several friends that told him he should be a financial advisor. He took a couple of weeks to pray about it and has clients lining up before he got his license.

Steve likes to hike 14ers. They are mountains 14000 feet and higher, he hiked Mt. Antero and went to the top of the mountain thinking he would hear the answer from God, but…… he got nothing.

Upon thinking on why that was, he began to think, maybe he had been given the answer through the circumstances.

He had John Ramstead mentoring him, with clients in the 50-500-million-dollar range. He did great his first year until his wife got sick.

She was sick for six months, and then again for another 6 months and most of it bedridden. It was because of the clients that he has already established, that he was ok. It kept the roof over his head, food on the table.

His journey was over 7 years long and was about inner growth. Those close to him advised him that he had inner crap holding him back and it was causing him to doubt himself. He was consistent and kept trying different things.

Steve received a breakthrough and others noticed. They ask him what he did in pursuit of a formula. He tells us the path is different for everyone and always keeps going.

The internal reality needs to match the external reality or people self savage when they reach a higher level of success. Steve knew that he was going to make it to a higher level and that he needed to have his internal reality exceed it.

Listen to the podcast to hear the whole story!

Favourite Book

Favorite Podcast

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